Things I've Uttered/Thought Of While Playing Need for Speed Undercover

Alrighty. I saw a fantastic blog the other day where the writer was playing through the early parts of a game and proceeded to document his thoughts and utterances as he played. I loved the idea so much that I've decided to show how much I loved it by applying it to another EA game, this time, Need for Speed Undercover. It was a rental (because I'm not really big into the NFS games), but it should make for an interesting little read. Let's begin:

(During EA Title) "When did Black Box start to get independently recognized? Never saw EA LA or Tiburon getting recognized for their work..."

"Wait, this game requires an install!? Are you kidding me? Every single EA game on the PS3 hasn't needed a bloody install, and it runs absolutely perfectly...am I...wait, it's done? Whoa. That was quick".

(helicopters fly past the screen). "So how much do I need to pay to unlock those?"

(game begins as many, many cop cars are chasing me) "Jesus Christ, I know EA wanted me to buy the game, but goddamn, I don't think renting it was THAT much of an offense"

"The evil Asian chick from Die Hard 4 is giving me orders? Well...I guess I'll have to listen...she DID kick that Mac dudes ass...and Bruce Willis'"

(upon entering the open world) "Ok Maggie Q, you've just told me what to do, so where the hell do I start? There's nothing on the mini-map, there's nothing here that tells me what to do (drives around for a bit)...hey a race! Now was it THAT hard to put it on the mini-map?"

(during load screen) "I'm not good...And I'm not bad....philosophy....in an EA game? Now THIS is next gen!"

(race cutscene starts) "So why is it my totally 350Z got replaced with a not-350Z, while everyone else has more rad cars than me?"

(race finishes) "Wait. I beat all those cars...BY THIRTEEN SECONDS. On my first race. In a crappy Nissan. Something is not right. Lemme go into the option...jesus Christ it doesn't take that bloody long to autosave....alright (pushes start button), oh! So that's the main menu. Ok, rad. Let's go into options (does so), gameplay (does so)...there's no difficulty option? Not even a subtitle option?

...oh dear. We're in for a treat" (NOTE: I'm deadly serious about that margin).

(while in pause menu). "Ok, let's check what cars and stuff I can buy. (goes into Car Menu). Ok, let's see...American, Japanese, European...let's go to Japan (clicks – looks through all the cars). Hmm..the Lancer is locked, let's see...wait, what!? (message pops up – reading). You've yet to find this dealership...do you want to use your PLAYSTATION NETWORK WALLET to buy it?

That can't be right...(checks out some other cars – same deal). Oh you have got to be kidding me..(goes into parts menu – same deal). Oh you have GOT to be kidding me..."

"Ooh, Photo Mode (takes picture...game tries to connect to the internet). NO GAME, I DON'T WANT TO CONNECT TO THE INTERNET TO SAVE A PHOTO."

(driving by, suddenly a cop car sights me and chases me) "WHAT!? What the bloody hell did I do now? (drives by a billboard that says "Don't Even THINK about speeding"). Oh. That would explain quite a lot."

(during a cop chase) "STOP BLOODY SPAWNING JUST WHERE I NEEDED TO ESCAPE"

(during a 'Transporter' mission). "You've given me a car with no turbo, poor acceleration and low top speed, STOP TELLING ME TO DRIVE FASTER."

(during a Highway Battle). "Dear god, I'm driving hundreds of kilometres per hour, chasing some dude, and trying best him...it's the bloody Tokyo Highway Battle in peak hour. THIS IS AWESOME."

(while the frame rate breaks up) "Am I watching a car slide show, or am I interacting with it?

"HUH!? Did that car just pass through a barrier? When can I get a ghost car?"

So in a nutshell, this helps to describe NFS Undercover. It's not as bad as IGN says – not even close. It's enjoyable, but there's plenty of problems that do hamper the experience. Stuff like the broken framerate (which is a huge problem), the difficulty – that stuff is problematic. The mini-map is also useless. It doesn't display anything at all, which does not help in the slightest. But there's some inherent fun to actually be had – just don't go expecting something akin to Burnout Paradise. It's also unfortunate that this game will sell a whole hell of a lot more.

I've also easened up a bit on the whole "buy cars/parts via Real Life money". I can understand why EA would include a functionality like this, and I can also see who would actually buy into this – but it's still not right.